*6* Maybe somethings are better left untold

I opened the door and found Abdallah standing there.

I was confused because 1) wtf is wrong with his voice?!!

2) what does he want ?!
I stood there with a question mark on my face. I was confused/worried/scared at the same time.

"Ha Shouga.." he said as soon as i opened the door.

"Uhh..Hi"

"Shlounich 7abebty?" He said as he patted my head and kissed me on my cheeks

Abdallah was always sweet to me like this when he sees me. Well, when he's in a good mood ofcourse.. But what does he want mo ma38ola 6ag 3lay ilbab bas 3shan chithy, nah thats not 3abood kelish:/.. I was getting curious.

"Zaina il 7emdillah... i-inta sha5barik..ma tbayen.."

"Ad5al 3ady?" As he pushed the door a little further and made his way inside my room, without waiting for my answer.

"Okay:s?!"

"em, ee sure.." I said as I walked behind him

"So shga3d tsaween, homework?" he said walking towards my desk looking at my open books

"Yea..3endi maths wayid.. O bio test next week.."

"Aha aha.. Sheday 7ailech 7abebty o ehtamay ib derastiich.." he said with his arms behind his back, walking around my room, looking around. Chena awal mara ib 7ayat yd5al

"eehh..umm shfee 9outik y5ari3 9ayer"

"ha ee ta3ban shway bs.."
"etha taben asa3diich ib maths tara i'm good.. itha 3endich ay so2al or anything.." He said and he sat on the edge of my bed.

"Shakla m6awel daam ga3ad 3al fraash, okay madre whats next shakla akthar mn bs yes2al 3anny.."

"ee thank you..Ay ta3ban shway.. Ma 3eraftik 3abdllah 5ar3tni ga3d agol mno hatha:s 5o inta ma tbayn who would've guessed you would be behind my door one day hm? hehehe" I said and leaned on my desk opposite my bed, facing him.

"haha shd3waa..bas2al 3an e5ty il 9ghera ma y9ir?"

"imbala..akeid 3ady..."
"O tha3fan wayed.. you okay?"

"9j? affaa hatha bs 3shan cham youm ma ri7t il naadi 5ag jesmi shiftay shlouun:/ aaa5 lazim ared a9iir fit"

Adri inna ma chinna 3aysheen ib nafs ilbait, bs thats how it was..ma ashofa wela akalma wayed. O a5af akalma 3shan his anger management, mo sahil. O ta7tt 3yoona kela aswad, madrii shfeeh 9ayr shakla.. 3ad uhwa mamloo7 ya3ni wayed jameel :/ !!

It became quiet for a while.. He was looking around my room, while I was standing there rolling my eyes, woundering.. I'm not even used to talking to him. He's 8 years older than me and he has been in the states for 7 years o now he comes back with anger management problems, so yea I don't know him well, just that he's my brother. But even though I don't know him that well, I was sure that wasn't the 3abdallah I know from what I know;s, madre shesalfa

"inzain sim3ay shouga 3endiich floos?"

"floos?"

"eeh.. uboy nesa ya36eny ma9rof this week o ba6la3 weya rab3ii o ma3a6any floos uboy kela yaswy feny hal daga! ga7a6 w rab il ka3baa..."

"y-yimkin nesa, 7aram uboy 6ayib walla o.."

"my ass zaiin!! thats bullshit shoug o your old enough to know that.. Uboy a ya36ena shayy!! Ya9rif 3ala 3yal 3ammy 3shan ubohum sakraan 24/7 o he feels sorry for them.. Ma y3arf ygol la2.. O ana welda agola mi7taaj, yzeg feny walla il 3atheem!!"

"Uhh.. What am I supposed to say now :s?"
He looked really mad, His eyes were red, but not from crying obviously..He had his hands together between his legs, and he was moving his legs. He looked nervous too, and mad at the saem time.. It was scary I diddn't know how to react.. I was afraid to be quiet and he would blow and think I was very cold. And if i say anything I'm afraid it will do the same thing, it was scary. Enshallah he will get better soon o alla ra7 yshafee.
So I just decided to agree with him, even though I diddn't. I thought it's the safest thing to say.
I even forgot that I wanted to ask him what was wrong with his voice.

"Um, ee 9a7 kalamik you have a point.."

"Fe ubo yeb5al 3ala 3yala?! Ib 7ayati ma shift chithy kiss *** ....."

I stopped taking in anything he said after that word. WTH is he thinking sweraing at my dad in that way?!?! And infront of his younger sister?!?! La this time I can't shut up and agree!

"heeey 3abdaalllaaah shfeeeek!! Mahma kan hatha ubona o..."

"Sorry 7abebty, I lost it, mo qa9di aseb chithy jidamiich.. bs ena jad 8eharni uboy, mo awal mara isaweha feny.." he then cam and kissed my cheeks again and put his hand on my shoulders.

I understood ina guys isiboon chithy lema y3a9boon, so yea it slipped out of his tounge akeid. He probably doesn't even mean it.

"La 3ady.. Um 3inde floos 3abdallah kanat malat tuition bs i won't need it anymore 3shan umy ma gamat t5aleny aro7 anymore..." I said as I walked to my drawer to take my 10 out of my wallet and give it to him

I was hoping for him to ask me why, o shfeha umy m3ay, o talk to him about stuff, that maybe he would understand..

"Here.." I said and gave it to him

"7abebty wallah.. Bs hatha 3ndech?"

"Ee"

"Ma 3ndech shay b3ad? Wela shay Shouga?"

"La2 bs hatha.."

"Oh ok.." He said holding the 10 in his hands, looking kind of disappointed.

What did he expect?! 1000 ? Psshht. Meshkilta itha mo 3ajba, zain meny :/

"Khalas 3ayal..Mashkora.. O aredlich iyaha don't worry.. Bs l2ena msta3yel.. O uboy sawa feny nafs il daga mara thanya..Wela chan ma 6elabt i5ty il 9ghera.."


"Chan zain tshofny akther mn i5tek il 9ghera..chan zain tshofny as a friend o tkalimny 3an ashyaa.. A7eba wayid 7eta lo he loses it sometimes, bs akthar wa7id a7eba mn i5wany"

"La 3ady.. I doubt i'll need it anymore.. l2ena..."

Ma mdani a5ale9 what i was about to say.. He kissed my cheeks and left my room.

He left the door open and I can hear him walking towards the stairs. I just stood there staring at my door wich he left oped, holding my empty wallet in one hand and had a million questions running through my head.

1 New Text Message

My phone interrupted my thoughts. I still stood there even after I heard it. the only word in my head was " What-The-Hell-:s-?-! "

I shook my head eventualy and walked to my bed to find my phone under my pillow on charge.

Khaled: Hii soryy walla bs nimt o tawny ga3d :p .. Shga3d tsaween

Artaa7 akalma hel walad. A7s neyita 6ayba o mara7 i2atheny no matter what.

I sat on the edge of my bed and replied.

Me: la3adyy ana gemt gabelt shway.. Kent ga3d asawy my homework, then u5oy 3abod dash 3lay 9ayer 6ayiib m3ay o then he asked me for money..3a6aita my tuition money since I won't be using it anymore.. Bs it was weird, fe alf so2al ib baly al7en i'm soo confused ma t9awar shkithir:s.. khalod he wasn't normal.. I'm woried..

I hit send and just sat there thinking. I really hope 3abdalah is okay. What I saw wasn't normal I swear. Madri shfeeh!

1 New Text Message

Khaled: noum el3wafii;*.. Thats good 9ayir 6ayib shfech..la t7ateen mako ila il 3afya.. Ana as2al i5ty il 9ghera saro 7ag floos lema uboy ykon m3a8ebnii mn ma9rofyy :p.. O sa3at t9er ba5eela ma ta36eny hal niz8a:p..Yemkin met'hawesh ma3a uboch, O yabi yi6la3 ma 3nda flos..3ady Don't worry everything is gonna be alright 7ayate o if you need anything i'm here ;*

Me: Thanks;*.. Madri walla..mo 3an ina 6elab flos, khalod His eyes were all red m3a9ib o he was moving his legs..shakla m3a9ib o nervous at the same time.. I hope he's ok :/

Khaled: heeyy la tfakreen chithy gitech ana mafy shay enshala, o itha feeh shay r7 y9iir zain mako mshkela ma feha 7al.. I promise, everything is gonna be alright shoug;*

Me: Kaay:s.. Elmuhim brb bs 5al akhales my homework.. huff maths:/ I'll tty lema akhales w'ana akel my dinner k;p

Khaled: Ala y3ench.. Tyt

*sigh*
I got off my bed and went back to my desk to finish off my maths.
I diddn't finish it all. I went about half way through and left it. I diddn't feel like doing anymore maths bil qasib ga3d asaweeh. wetha I had a chance to finish it before class tomorrow i will, and if I diddn't, oh well whatever.

I went out of my room, it was dark, no one was here to open the lights of the living room. The maids were downstairs. I was getting hot because of the oodie i'm wearing:s but I kept it on just incase, espescially since I was out of my room.
I opened the lights and opened my laptop as I layed down on the couch.
I signed in msn.

Summer was online.

Summer 'Theres No Beuaty In Bleeding Mascara' says (7:50PM): heyy
Shougaa says: heyy
Shougaa says: sawaitay maths
Summer 'Theres No Beuaty In Bleeding Mascara' says: ee u?
Shougaa says: mo kela, mali khilg akamla
Shouga says: 3abdallah was acting all weird again :s
Summer 'Theres No Beuaty In Bleeding Mascara' says: Bad mood?
Shouga: eeh madri Summer he wasn't normal, not himself, something I don't know what :s
Summer 'Theres No Beuaty In Bleeding Mascara' says: huh
Shougaa says: welashay.. bs ena i'm worried. O 7ata lo kint a3arf whats wrong with him, it's not like I can do anything about it
Summer 'Theres No Beuaty In Bleeding Mascara' says: don't worry babes, i'm sure everything's gonna be fine.. O i'm here if you need me :d
Shougaa says: yea thanks

"I wish they would quit saying that chna il dnya sahalaa.. tara mo shar6! what makes them so sure?!?!" :/

Summer 'Theres No Beuaty In Bleeding Mascara' says: Guess who just came online ^^
Shougaa says: who
Summer 'Theres No Beuaty In Bleeding Mascara' says: gueesss...
Shougaa says: wa7id 7ilo mn the millions you talk about
Summer 'Theres No Beuaty In Bleeding Mascara' says: la2;/!
Summer 'Theres No Beuaty In Bleeding Mascara' says: kaa i'll show you a7sna laish a5alech you guess :p

GHaZooY~* MaHMa YGouLuN MaHMa 9aR o MaHMa TaM ;* has been added to this conversation.

wtf.. What's she doing !!??

I opened a private conv. with Summer

Shougaa says: ayshaaay
Shouga says: umbay wanasa
Shouga says: hehe :p

Summer 'Theres No Beuaty In Bleeding Mascara' says: Loool

In the other conversation..

Summer 'Theres No Beuaty In Bleeding Mascara' says: heyy

GHaZooY~* MaHMa YGuLooN MaHMa 9aR o MaHMa TaM;* says: hala ;p

Shouga says: hi

"Akeid he's like why the hell am i added here, shel salfa"

Summer says: Shlounkum:p?

GHaZooY~* says: Tamam, you ;p?!

Summer says: tamam, doum ;p

Shouga says: Zaina :p

GHaZooY~* says: Damat ayamiich ;p

Summer says: Ajma3een;p

9ar hidoo2.. and then

Summer says: Umbay Shougaa ma gitlech lema b'3ait aket il maay ib tuition elyoum :p!!!

"Trying to break the ice & silence in the conv. :p"

Shougaa says: Lool Ms. Flana;p?

Summer says: laa 3ind Flaan ;p

Shougaa says: aa ok:p

Summer says: Kint ga3da ashrab wela Flan g3ad y6afernii ygolii ana aafaa because kela lema adesh ib eedi shay ya starbucks, mc d.. aw 7eta fries mn naif;/!! hel mara maay

GHaZooY~* says: Dasha tuition wela iste8baal:p

Summer says: Kna mala8a ga3d al3ab bil b6l eb 7aljii.. chan Yousef il sa5eef kfa5a chan y6ee7 3ala the tutors papers !!

Shougaa says: umbaaay looool :p!!

Shougaa says: Shsawat?!:p

Summer says: Shouug 3a9baat :p.. tgolina huuuffff!!! w b3daaaiiin!!! da5leeen dars wela ayh?!!? ana ba2a 3ayza 6ulaaab sha6ren w msh jayeen yl3abo!! mafhooom ?!?!

Shougaa says: A7s taby ta6redkum bs mo 3arfa shloun :p

Summer says: Lol walla 9ej..kela mnna!! fashla :s

GHaZooY~* says: LoooooL!!

Summer says: bashtrelha hadiiya shay 9gher 7ag next lesson :p

Shougaa says: looool;p

9ar hidoo2 again..

Summer says: Mno shaf oprah ams?

GHaZooY~* says: 3an obama?

Summer says: Eee..

Ba3dain they started talking about Obama, Oprah and the american elections o politics theyre arguing o madri shnoo:p.. O ana thay3aa g3adt saktaa bs ga3d agraa;p..

GHaZooY~* says: Shouug tara rfeejtiich seyasiiyaaa :p!!

Shougaa says: looool :p

Summer says: anywaay i gtg

I opened the private conv. with summer again..

Shougaa says: noooo whyyy !! :(

Summer says: umy g3ad tnadeny o bat3asha.. o banam ... :/

Shougaa says: noo take your laptop with youu la t6li3een mn il conv.. aw 5alee online o gulay brb

Summer says: Fahod u5oy yabi laptopi magdar;/

Shougaa says: urrghh biitch;/

Summer says: add him yal thakiiyaa ^^

Shougaa says: laa fashlaa;/ uhwa mafruth he adds me lo yabi.. A7s no3a tikana madre shefakir lo ana age6 ro7y o I add him mn awal conv. ;/

Summer says: waaay shda3waa!! ag9aha add mafeha shay!!

Summer says: yala i gtg

Summer says: ????????@hotmail.com --> hatha his e-mail ;)

Summer says: Ciao;*

Shougaa says: bye;/!

In the other conv..

GHaZooY~* says: bye

Shougaa says: see you

Summer 'Theres No Beuaty In Bleeding Mascara' Has left the conversation. You can no longer have conversations with ????????@hotmail.com because he/she is not added on your list.
Add contact?

I wasn't gonna add him no mater how much I wanted to !! Fashla :/

I read the conversation again and again, while listening to some boys like girls music- Hero Heroine.

"Hellooo,,," said helen, dancing as she enters the living room

"....hi" I said, still staring at the screen, reading, sucked into my thoughts.

"haa... what do you waant"

"...."

"yala shoug tell me ibsor'aa.. I have work.."

"anything helen anything.." i replied quick trying to stop her from interrupiting me.

"you want chicken nuggets ?"

"spaghetti" My favourite.

"ok" she said and left.

I heard the sound of keys and the door opening downstairs, wich means it must either be mom or dad come home.
I quickly closed my laptop and put it back to where it was and went back to my room.
Mo nag9 asma3 kalaam maby asme3aa mn umyy because she would think I would've grabbed the laptop and spent my whole time on it, and never touched my books. Thats what she would think if she saw me using it when she comes home. My dad too, but my dad doesn't talk, he gives hints wich makes me know how he thinks.
I hate it, but I have to live with it.

I sat on my desk and stared at my oped maths exersize book. I decided to workout a couple of questions since I was seated at my desk.

*knock knock*

"Mnoo" I said, acting to be working hard

"anaa.." Said mom from the back of the door.

"di5lay"

"ha t3ashaitay?

"la2 ga3d tsaweelii spaghetti" I replied without looking at her, keeping my eyes and head on my desk.

"aha.. Shenu hatha? math?"

"ee.." I replied

"Shlounich ma3aah, zaina? sahil? taben mosa3ada?"

"Ee zaina, la mo mi7taja shay"

"ee zain.." she said
It was quiet.. but she still diddn't leave she was just standing there. And my head was still on my desk, as I was writing my maths.

"5alas 3ayal ma aga63ech ana"

"ok"

and she left.

By the time my dinner was done, I finished all my maths questions. I ate my dinner while my mom was sitting on the couch texting and watching tv. It was quiet as usual. I hated it, the situation between us. but i diddn't know what to do about it, I diddn't want anything because I don't know what to say. I don't have the courage to speak up, hatha 6abi3 feny, o sometimes I lack confidence. O these 2 things wayid i2athroon feny o i2athony in life but I don't know what to do about it. I was like this only when my mother flipped on me about my last report card, and I felt like a failure, and lost the courage to speak up because I feared I might say something stupid, and lacked my confidence in my abilities. But yet I'm trying this time...

After dinner, I went back to my room and sorted out my books for tomorrow and put my school bag near my door. I put my pj's on, brushed my teeth, got my ipod and my phone and went to bed.

I found a message from Khaled.

Khaled: Ha 5la9ty?

I put my headphones one and replied.

Me: Sorry walla insh'3alt.. Bs ee 5ala9t kel my maths il7emdillah, kalait dinner o now i'm in bed you?;p

We texted and talked about our day untill I was sleepy. He's never the first one to say gdnight or bye ;p

Me: Anyway ana de5t 7ady banam, tty tomorrow, nighty ;p

Khaled: K, bitwadeen your phone ma3ach bachiir?

Me: Ayeba laish la;p

Khaled: Good good;) yala gd night 7yate sweet dreams ;*






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What do you think ?! ;p