*4* Call it whatever you like

Hey guys,here's the next part of the story :)
And I would like it if everyone who is reading my story leaves atleast 1 comment, mo shar6 3ala every post bs 1 comment 3ala one of the posts,7ata 3ala any post that I will post in the future after this, any one of my post 3ady;p! bs 3shan i wanna know shkethir ppl are following my story thats all ;p
Thanks & Enjoy ;*
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I opened my eyes to the sound of the bell ringing. "Class is over? That fast..wow." i thought. I took my books from my desk and put them in my bag and left the classroom to find Mariam and Summer already waiting for me and Bee outside our classroom.



"Waaay can you guys go any slower?! The fatayer is gonna run out!" Said Mariam, walking at fast pace ahead of us.



"Ana ma ashtehy akil in school" I said.



"We wern't talking about you, just go back to sleep shugee like you were in class" said Bee



"You guys waste half of your break time just waiting in line and by the time it's your turn the fatayer had run out and you'll end up with a crappy chocolate bar or something..seriously" I said rolling my eyes.



We reached the bottom of the staircase, finally. The girls went to line up infront of the canteen while I made my way to the benches where we usually sat. I found Badreya, (another 1,not Bee.. We'll call her Badreya 2 or just Badreya, k;p?) and Yasmeen sitting on the bench.



"Hey guys.." I said as I put my heavy book bag on the bench and sat down


"Hey"

"Hii" they answered back, and then continued on to whatever they were talking about before I came.



I was too lazy to join in their conversation, so I just sat there quietly, I so wanted to go to sleep, I was too tierd after gym class, we diddn't even acctually play :/.. Anyway, gym class or not, I always got tierd when the school day comes near to and end. I still had one more lesson to go and then it was hometime.

The other girls came to join us, and they were all indulged in the conversation, I just listened but I diddn't bother join in.

Then the bell rang again indicationg that break time was over. And ofcourse, everybody pretends they diddn't hear the bell just so they could hang out for a few extra minutes until a teacher comes and tells us off to go to class. Lol, a daily every day routine for the teachers.
We headed off to class. I had biology. Huff '3al6aneen 7a6enli ya last lesson of the day on the same day I had gym class :s

Biology class is a challenge for me. I find it complicated because theres just so much to learn and i don't know where to start! I promised myself to try my very best in all my subjects this term. I made this promise at the begining of the year since September, and I di try very hard, but clearly it wasn't enough when my report card came out after the winter holidays.

I was sitting next to Yasmeen, and Lateefa and Lara were behind us. Yasmeen diddn't care about the subject because she was already taking 4 subjects in advanced ahead of us. And she says she'll work on bio next year when she takes the real exam before graduation.

Lateefa and Lara were the same, except that they are not taking any subjects in advance. They care, but just don't do anything about it or put in any effort. I used to be the same. Until the beggining of this year, where I promised myself that I don't want to bring home a bad report card anymore. I'm tierd of putting my parents down because of me. And I thought I was going to put and end to all of this after my mid terms, I thought my next report card was gonna be amazing,for a change and that I was gonna feel proud of myself as well as my parents. But, none of that happend, and I tried my ass off, I really did!

It was enough that me myself was disappointed at my results, but my mom pressured me so much. It was like she diddn't care how I felt she just wanted me to get good grade in any way. She diddn't believe that I really did try my best this time and it wasn't like all the other times before.

All the other times were the same, but it gets worse every year, because I go to a higher year group and my studies are more advanced than my previous year study levels, and hence require more work and effort. But it diddn't affect me like it did this time.This time was different. Because this time I acctually tried and studied hard. I acctually thought I did good. Great, even. But it was the total opposite and I was crushed! and my mother's words affected me more than they used to. I felt like I wasn't good enough, from the way she talked to me. It was like she'd had it with me. Ive had it with myself too. I feel very frustrated and depressed whenever I don't understand something, and then my mothers words ring in my ear
"Bint Flana sh7laailhaa trfa3 ras umhaa emsa6ratlaha il A's, mo intay! 7mdela wl shekir shfeech!!? Ga9rech mo5? 6isaay dariich 3an wayhi yala..9j mo kafo shay" Even if it was 1 word, because I felt stupid when I diddn't, and I knew I wasn't! hence i am trying to prove myself wrong. My mother has been through alot, she goes through very stressful times and she can become very very depressed. So I feel that I am the cause for her misery when I add to it, because when she gets mad at me, there doesn't have to be a reason for her to.. She just stats shouting at me for no real reason, or any reason at all. Which makes me feel like I am the 'cause for her misery, i'm sorryyy:s

And for those reason, I dreaded coming home everyday after school. I felt like everytime I came in the door, my parents were not happy to see me. Like they wern't proud of me. Like I wasn't what they expected me to be. I wasn't good enough for them even when I tried my best. Especially my mother, she was so not proud of me, and she diddn't talk to me properly. She was either harsh and loud with me, or she just put her head down and just diddn't look at me, and talk to my brothers and sister normally.

Did I mention I was the youngest of 4?well 5, but my eldest sister died when I was 5.Wich makes my brother Abdallah, the eldest. He studied in the states and he used to be in the same school as me, straight A student, mashala :/ He got accepted in Harvard, but he chose to go to another state. In university he wasn't as good as he was in school, but he stil managed to keep agood GPA. I think he is very good looking, and he has alot of girl fans, I should know:p My dad is trying to put up with him because he graduated last year and he is still not working. He sleeps during the day and stays up all night, and he is so messy and so careless, kind of like me, wich also puts my dad off. That after all these years in the states he still can't fully depend on himself. He can get selfish and rude when his mood isin't ok. And for that reason I'm always scared to talk to him or be around him by myself,wich is sad i know,but because I am a very sensitive person and if it was one of those days when he's in a bad mood and I do just the slightest thing you can think of, it can piss him off and he'd blow on me, so i try my best to avoid that. But when he's fine, he's really great company, i love it when I'm around him and he's in a good mood. He's working on his anger management and hopefully he will get better.

Then comes my sister, Noor. She's the kindest and most patient person I know, like my dad. She helps out so much around the house. She's like the family therapist. She's in her last year of university in our home country. Theres a 7 year difference between me and her. We don't share alot of secrets. She's like a mother to me, she takes care of me alot wether my mom is or isin't around.

Then my brother, Talal. He's studying in the states now. I've talked about him in the previous post a bit. He treats me different than he treats eveyrone else. Because i'm his little sister, and he likes to show me that he knows everything, and always tries to tells me what to do and looks out for me. Wich is nice of him that he cares, but sometimes he over does it and it annoys me, very much. He diddn't do well in highschool and all his friends went to the states to study. and he was dying to go too. He asked my dad day after day that he promises to try his best there and get a scholarship if he pays for him to go to one of the most expensive private university in the states in a states full of celbs. I mean wth who could 'study' in a place like that. And guess what? my dad said ok. And now ever since he went to the states, we don't keep in touch alot. I ask about him to my dad every once in a while, and thats it.

The bell rang and it was 2:15. The school day was over. I gathered my books and made my way with Yasmeen to the playground to meet our friends. We stayed and chatted like we did everyday after school, and then made our way to the gate where we would continue our conversation until there were less cars and it was less crowded with traffic jam near our school so that we can easily head home in our cars.

I found my iPod in the cup holder in the car. I played a couple of songs from the Plain whit T's and Paramore until I got home. My mom's car was here, so was my dad's and my sisters' and brothers', although Abdullah is sure to still be still sleeping. My sister finishes her classes early, and my dad is the manager of a company and he can do his work at home sometimes but he prefers to go instead. My mother owns a shop, and doesn't have a certain time when she comes home. She is either late like around 5 or 6. Or at her normal time around 2:30 3, the same time I come home in.

I unplugged my iPod from the iTrip and opened the car door and got down. I took my back pack on my shoulders and made my way to the front door of my home.

I put my hand on the door handle to open the door and thought "Enshalaa this is one of those days when it's not so bad in there";/ ..